


Broken Jade

by EternallyEC



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, The Worst Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:09:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22964434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternallyEC/pseuds/EternallyEC
Summary: Set directly after Jade walks away from Tori's door in The Worst Couple, Jade thinks about the girl behind the mask. Past self-harm is referenced/implied vaguely so please don't read if that will hurt you.
Relationships: Beck Oliver/Jade West (mentioned)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 66





	Broken Jade

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone! I'm late to the party (as usual), but I started watching Victorious on Netflix a week or so ago. I have about six days off work and have been binging my way through so I'm almost finished now and one thing that has remained consistent are my thoughts and feelings about and for Jade West. 
> 
> I have many, many thoughts on her character and her relationship with Beck and when I watched The Worst Couple, my heart broke so much for her. I wrote some of this later that night and just wrote the rest because I really wanted to explore how she dealt with what happened and what her internal monologue might be like. 
> 
> Anyway, as this is my first time writing Jade in a public way, please let me know what you think!

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

That was all that Jade West could think as she drove home, still too numb to really feel anything but the bitter disappointment of being abandoned by yet another person in her life.

It was her own fault, really. Everyone left her, always had, and she’d never intended to let anyone else get close enough to her to do it again. But then she’d met Beck, and although she fought it for as long as she could, she’d eventually given in when he’d proven that he wasn’t going to be scared off.

After two years, she’d even started to feel safe, like maybe she _wasn’t_ totally worthless and that someone _would_ stick around.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

She really should have known better.

Jade had barely made it into her room before she broke down, closing the door with her foot and collapsing face-down onto the bed. Safely away from prying eyes was the only time that she didn’t feel the need to wear her mask of faux self-confidence, totally designed so that no one could see through to the scared, insecure girl she was inside.

Beck had been the only exception. Somehow, he’d seen straight through her since the day they’d met and it was one of the thousands of reasons that she’d finally let him in, let him see her vulnerabilities.

She regretted it all now, her fingers angrily scrunching the sheets she was twisting in her fists as she sobbed. Her make-up would ruin the sheets, she knew, but she couldn’t bring herself to care, not about that or about the punishment she’d no doubt receive when her mother saw them.

_Worthless, worthless, worthless._

She wasn’t even good enough to keep Beck, she thought bitterly, so why should she care about what her mother did to her? She probably deserved it, just like she’d deserved to look Beck. Jade West was nothing more than a sad, pathetic little mean girl who took out her trauma on others because their suffering made her a little less miserable.

Her tears finally starting to slow, Jade rolled over to stare up at the ceiling blankly.

She didn’t know how long she lay like that, just staring into nothing and trying not to think, but her phone chiming finally snapped her out of it. Reluctantly, she pulled it out of her pocket and scowled reflexively when she saw Tori’s name as the sender.

Not in the mood to deal with whatever Tori would have to say to her, she put the phone down on her bedside table and stood up. Sniffing to try to compose herself, she tossed her hair back and crept out of her room and into the bathroom across the hall.

As she scrubbed away all of the evidence of her tears and the last remaining remnants of her make-up, her eyes ticked over to the medicine cabinet and she swallowed. With black-stained water trailing down her face, her hand hesitantly caressed the glass before she forced it back.

Straightening her spine, she shot herself the fiercest glare she could manage and found a cold sort of comfort in seeing her mask reflected back at her.

“Get it together,” she told her reflection, feeling her resolve strengthening as quickly as it had waned.

Returning to her bedroom, she quickly undressed and got under the covers, absolutely exhausted from the stressful and emotional day. But she was maybe just a little proud of herself too. The worst thing imaginable had happened and she’d survived without a relapse. The tools she’d once used to feel in control of her pain had been within reach and she’d been strong enough to walk away.

Jade West was anything but worthless, she repeated in her mind like a mantra as she finally drifted off to sleep.

She didn’t know what the next chapter of her life might bring, didn’t even want to imagine a life without loving Beck, but she knew that she could survive anything and that she _would_. She was determined and Jade West _always_ got what she wanted in the end. 

~ FIN


End file.
